Touching, kissing, and licking the buttocks and the area around the anus is a good way to get the party started. Foreplay can help get you both ready for what’s to come and make entry into that special spot easier. This isn’t just to prevent STIs, but also to nip the ick factor in the bud if you or your partner is nervous. If you want to use your tongue, a condom can also be cut open and used as an alternative to a dental dam. Condoms can be used on a butt toy and fingers, as well as a penis. You could also wear latex gloves, and for extra comfort insert some cotton balls. While we’re on the subject of bacteria, don’t forget to wash your hands thoroughly before going in. Short nails also mean less space for dirt and bacteria to hide. Trim and file your nails to prevent tearing delicate skin. A little prep can help you help them have that anal orgasm: It isn’t just about the delightful slip and slide, but also an important part of anal sex safety.Īs the giver, you need to bring your A-game.
There’s no such thing as too much lube when it comes to anal. Take things slow and enjoy the feeling of the toy teasing your butt before inserting it. Sex toys can help you get a feel for anal play before experimenting with your partner. Use bath time to give your erogenous zones a good rub-a-dub and show your anus some love while you wash up. A hot bath before anal play will help loosen tight muscles and increase blood flow to all your bits. Watch porn, listen to an erotic story, or just close your eyes and fantasize. The more turned on you are, the easier and more enjoyable butt play will be. Here are some ideas and other tips to get you started: If you’re the receiving partnerīeing relaxed and aroused are key, especially if this is your first foray into butt play. My mother was blasting Al Green like she did every Sunday when she cleaned the house.Sex on the fly is fun, but when it comes to anal play, a little prep can help make the experience better for the receiver and the giver. “No, we weren’t,” I tried to assure her, but I doubt she believed me. I was usually pretty open about my sex life with her.
She had known for quite some time that I was sexually active. I probably could’ve just told her the truth, like I had many times before, but this time was different from the rest. More: Masturbating is totally normal for everyone… but not my son This time I did it in her house, and my heart was still racing from the excitement. You’d think the experience of being a teen mom would make me want to keep all boys at least 10 feet away from my daughter, or at least ban boys from her room. Certainly, I don’t want her to go through what I did as a teen mom. I want her to wait until she’s ready to experience motherhood on her own terms, until she’s lived life for herself at least a little bit.īut I know that trying to keep teens from having sex is impossible. If they want to have sex, they’ll find a way. I know this because I remember being a teen. I remember a dark moonlit bedroom not being a requirement for fooling around. I remember taking advantage of my boyfriend’s parents being at work. I remember the sex in parked cars, the park and garages. And I remember not being the exception - almost all of my friends were having sex.īanning boys from spending the night wouldn’t have prevented my teen pregnancy. Not from pregnancy, or the other potential consequences of unsafe sex. If my daughter were to engage in unsafe sex with a person of any gender, she could contract an STD or STI.
It would be completely irresponsible of me to ignore the possibility that my daughter isn’t heterosexual. If I am worried about boys, I should be equally worried about girls. More: Why I take my son to feed the homeless twice a month It’s either no one can spend the night, or everyone can. That’s the logic I used when I asked my mother at 15 to have a good friend who happened to be male sleep over. “You realize I could be sleeping with my girlfriends when they spend the night, right?” I remember asking her. I identified as bisexual at the time, and she knew it. “Well, if he’s just a friend and you trust him, I’ll trust you.” But I could tell she had never even considered the possibility that my girlfriends were anything more than friends. After that day, she often let me have boys spend the night. Every male friend I had knew what my bedroom looked like. And although it may seem counterintuitive, this is what she did right. She never judged or punished me for being sexual.